"Matt's a Writer."

A scriptwriter sits at his desk, endlessly telling stories that people may or may not be interested in. He is troubled by his very existence but uplifted by those around him.

Got a head full of life and a barrel of death in my arms.

We know more now, so the ghosts are dying.


this entire album is fantastic.

I want to spring break on Spooky Island!

Property was lovely but we’d save over £1000 living with our parents for a bit, so it looks like I’m Teesside bound once more.

Off to view a property even though we’re pretty certain we’ll move back in with our parents over the summer. Still, good practice for September.

What a lovely relaxing Easter weekend. Now I’m going to write a cultural studies essay in a week. Just watch me.

Hello young hobbits!
Happy 420!


12,034 words. Hells yeah.

Now we can P-A-R-T-Y

Introducing the greatest hits collection of tumblr text posts. Over seven-thousand deep and/or hilarious posts on one easy to read napkin.

Including favourites such as:

"Haven’t posted a selfie yet today."


"The future is bleak but hey look what these cats did and that’s cool."

…and many more.

Product also includes hundreds of spoilers about your favourite TV shows.

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I’d say it’s radio silence from me whilst our friends are over but it’s 420 weekend and probably the last one I’ll get to celebrate in style, so prepare for corny weed related jokes and pictures of comically oversized joints.

Planning on taking some delicious brownies with a secret ingredient to the church bake sale on Easter Sunday. Reverend will appreciate the kind act we think.

Tidying the flat and brushing the cat.

I’m a white rapper now.